Teletubbies: Gone wild
by hamtaro123312
Summary: What happens when you give Dipsy dope and LaLa alcohol? Is Tinky Winky really gay? And Po is not so shy anymore! A cowritten story by Whyte Lilac and hamtaro123312.
1. Why'd you do that!

**Teletubbies: Gone wild**

Author's note: This is a co-written story, by Whyte Lilac and I. We don't own Teletubbies, Rated for foul language and use of drugs. Took us a bit of time to write this, because we got distracted by stupid flies, ice cream, and pictures.

R&R,

hamtaro123312 and Whyte Lilac

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a sunny day for the Teletubbies. Dispy rolled over in his crib and yawned. He felt some grab him, but didn't know what it was. It was LaLa, having

on of her horrendous hangovers. "BASTARD! WAKE UPPPP!" LaLa screamed facing away from Dipsy. As he sat up, he could tell that she was screaming at the

blinking buttons on the wall, next to the slide.

Dipsy growled, he hated when his beauty sleep was interrupted. "You dodo!" he shouted, chucking a pillow at the drunken Teletubbie's head ."Quit fucking

interrupting my fucking beauty sleep, you fucking son-of-bitch-transexual!" Dipsy yelled, obviously pissed. LaLa, who was now doing--I mean, trying to do--

pirouettes, caught Tinky Winky trying to get to the coffee first. She quickly ran towards it in her drunken state and shouted out gleefully. "I'll get it! I'll get

it!" Everyone then watched in slow-mo as the yellow creature ran towards the coffee pot with their eyes wide open. "Not the coffee! I need it! My dope is

in there!" Dipsy shouted, then ran after LaLa. What no one expected to happen was NooNoo tripping LaLa with his vaccuum hose. It was now LaLa's turn to

wake up. The Teletubbie slipped on the floor and fell face-down into the pot of dope-coffee. Then, a colorful string of curses were heard throughout the whole

building as the creature finally popped out of its drunken state. Unfortunately, the dope was getting to her, making her shouts slowly turn into unintelligible

slurs.

"Whuh efunuh huppo oh woah..." Was all Dipsy could make out from LaLa's slurs. NooNoo just stood--er, lied there. A grunt could be heard at the top of

the slide. Po came sliding down, with a couple of bags from some stores. "What's in the bag?" Tinky asked, finally waking up.

Po looked down at the thing he was on top of. "Fuck! What the hell! Did you guys kill her or something!" he shouted, giving Dipsy and Tinky Winky a

look accusingly. Tinky Winky shrugged and pointed to NooNoo, who then pointed at a pile of liquor bottles in LaLa's bed. "What's in the fucking bag

dammit!"

Dipsy cursed, mad at being woken up and not having his morning dope-coffee. The red Teletubbie threw the bags into Dipsy's and Tinky Winky's arms and took one for

himself. "Eh, breakfast, some dope, and pills for LaLa..." he muttered while the others went through the bags. "What the fuck!" Tinky Winky shouted, throwing out a very

familiar looking thing and backing away from it. Po looked over and laughed. "Sorry man, that's for LaLa." "Why the fuck

does LaLa need a fucking dildo!" Tinky Winky questioned dumbly.

"So she can go fuck herself without harrasing _us_." Po said, taking out a box of cereal and milk from the bag in his hand. He went over to the kitchen and

took out a bowl from the cabinet. "WTF! WTF! WTF!" Dipsy yelled, over and over. Tinky decided to join him, and the next tihng you know, the two were

running around the circular house, yelling. LaLa woke up from her drugg state to see two blurry people running around. "Whush gwoing onwh?" As the

scene paused, an intellegent looking Po stepped out to the paused scene. "As you can see," Po said, pointing at the scene, " Tinky and Dipsy are yelling

because of a dildo, and LaLa has awoken. Translation: 'What's going on?' Let's continue with this lovely picture." The scene played again, only Po was sitting

at a short table, munching on Frosted Flakes.

"Gimme gimme gimme!" Dipsy said, loading his bowl with a ton of cereal and milk and topped it off with a little pinch of dope. Tinky Winky shook his

head, and sighed fatherly, looking at Dipsy. "I don't understand why the hell anyone likes dope in their cereal. You can't even taste it through all that sugar!

And I thought it was for smoking..." Dipsy continued chomping on his sugar-loaded cereal, but saying in between each bite. "Stop...being...so gay!" Po

laughed and high-fived Dipsy, making Tinky Winky roll his eyes. Nobody noticed LaLa for a moment, but she was now sitting at the table with them, pouring

the whole box of Frosted Flakes into a mixing bowl. Who knew she was the one who ate the most?

Tinky Winky sat down for some oatmeal. As he happily enjoyed his oatmeal, the director of the show, told them to stop eating, and get on the set. "I

don't wanna!" Po whined. "Bruce, you're a party pooper. You party pooper." Dipsy said, finishing up his bowl. As he dumped the bown in the sink for LaLa to

clean, Bruce said angrily, "Hurry up!" "NO!" LaLa screamed, whacking Bruce with a huge metal pole. "Awesome! Where'd you get the pole?" Tinky Winky

said. "Strip Club." LaLa replied. Everyone was silent. The producer walked in, seeing Bruce dead on the floor, walked out. After all, the Teletubbies had the

right to kill Bruce, and it was their home. Actually, the set really is a house outside that is shaped like a dome. Po went over to the list of chores he made,

and look under his name. "Hey, look...LaLa finished my first chore for me," he joked, pointing to the list. LaLa took a bow and took the beer that Dipsy gave

to her. "Next thing to do was to kill off everybody besides us here, but it'd be no fun with no one to boss around..." Tinky Winky, gave a nod and farted.

Everyone groaned and covered their noses. "Eeeeeeeeeeeewww! What'd you eat yesterday, dude?" Dipsy groaned, fanning the air around himself. Tinky

Winky gave a nervous laugh. "...Burritos..." Then, everyone groaned and shouted at him. "You dumb ass! You're not supposed to eat that! You know what

the doctor said bout your gas tube!" Po said. He raced up the slide and out of the dome-shaped house to air off.

As Tinky Winky went outside, Po read the list again. "Alright, I have to make the bed, dust the house, Tinky Winky has to follow his diet, and help

NooNoo, Dipsy is supposed to go shopping for more food and other essentials, and LaLa has to wash dishes." Po read off. LaLa walked over to the sink and

began scrubbing the dishes immediatly. As Dipsy watched her, he went over to grab his black and white hat and wallet. He plopped the hat on his head,

and strolled out to the nearest Acme. Tinky Winky walked back in, only to fart even louder, and a stranger sound was heard. A plopping noise. "Oh shit,

Tinky! You sharted on the frickin' ground, god dammit!" Po groaned. LaLa ran off to get disinfectant and towels, as Tinky went to wipe his ass.

"Eeeeeew!" LaLa screamed, her gaze fixed at the pile of feces in front of her. "Am I suppose to clean this up!" Po gave her a glare and said sarcasticly. "No,

you're supposed to eat it." The yellow gal shuddered and screamed some more. "That's even worse! I don't wanna eat it! Get Tinky Winky to clean up his

own shit!" Then, she ran daintily on her toes to a large rock where she sat and filed her nails. Po immediately snapped his fingers and commanded for her to

get back to work. LaLa tried to make puppy eyes, but only managed to scare Po off for a while with her bags and dark eyes. "Hey, hey! Tinky dude! Wash

your hands before making food for your diet, you stupid messy asshole!" Po screamed, slapping the purple guy's antenna.

"Aw, alright." Tinky said, getting on his knees. Meanwhile, Dipsy was at Acme, browsing through the frozen food section. He saw some pizza and ice

cream, and took some of that and threw it into the cart. He grabbed the most tasties foods---chips, salsa, rice, soy sauce, beans, ribs, steak and hot dogs.

As he walked to drink sections, he spotted a sign with big red words: SALE; on milk! Half price off! Dipsy ran over, and loaded the whole cart with milk. He

also took some orange juice. Back at the house, Tinky was gagging at the smell of his shart. (A/n: It's when ya shit and fart at the same time.)

"Ugh, I can't believe I sharted this bad! I mean how can a little burrito get you this much shart! It's ridiculous, even for me!" he mumbled, taking a

pooper-scooper and reached for the pile of smelly feces. LaLa overheard him and added, "You forgot about your stinky gas tubes, you shart-maniac!" "And

you forgot to wash the stinky dishes, you stupid drunk bitch!" he shot back. They continued to fight until Po got in between them. "Oh, suck it up, guys, we

still got work to do! If it weren't for the lousy station cancelling our show, we wouldn't have to do this!" Po said, pointing at the work they had to

accomplish. "Yeah...I guess..." Tinky Winky looked down, almost sad, but then smirked at LaLa. "But Drunk Bitch started it first!"

------------------------------------------------------

I just found out from the lovely Whyte Lilac that feces are well, POOP! See you next chapter!

R&R,

Whyte Lilac and hamtaro123312


	2. You fucking idiot

**Teletubbies: Gone wild**

A/N We don't own this.

h123: I thought I was supposed to double space, but it only messed up our story. So it'll just be like this from now on.

R&R, hamtaro123312, and Whyte Lilac

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Fuck!" Dipsy muttered, looking through his wallet. He only had a five, ten dimes, and a nickel. "How am I supposed to pay for all this stuff now!" Suddenly, the metallic thing on his stomach glittered. A thousand million one hundred dollar bills appeared in his wallet. "MOTHER FUCKIN' SWEET!" Tipsy yelled. He ran to the back of the store to grab a bag of toilet paper, tissues, and paper towels. He dropped it into the cart, only to be distracted by hygienal needs. He took deoderant, toothpaste, and mouthwash. "LaLa needs this stuff." Dipsy grunted.

Then the green Teletubbie whizzed down the aisle, his head peeking out from behind the huge pile of products. He stopped next to the women's hygienic products and pondered over which brand to choose. Tampons or pads? Scented or unscented? This brand or that brand? Wings or no wings? It was making his head spin so he just took one of each kind. "This oughta last her a million years..." he muttered. Then, stopping to check if anyone was nearby, Dipsy went to the make-up aisle to check things out. "Ew, this shade of pink is hella nasty. Who'd buy that?" he sneered at a magenta eyeshadow. He decided to have a little fun with all this and put on a wig for a dramatic effect. "Wow, don't I purtiful?" he asked nobody in particular. Then he felt something on his butt. A hand.

He slowly turned around to slap the bastard who touched him. "You sure do look purty, miss." a man in sweats said and winked at him. Horrified, Dipsy screamed and ran, dragging his cart of supplies with him. The man looked confused. As Dipsy ran, he kept running---with the supplies---out the door. The censors went off, and as Dispy ran, he headed straight for the Teletubbies' house in hot pursuit. He looked behind and saw no one was after him---Acme didn't care that he took the supplies. After all, they were all getting laid off anyway. As he reached the door, he gasped for air. Po asked him what happened, and Dipsy filled in for him. Po was on the floor, laughing to death, followed by LaLa, and Tinky Winky. Tinky Winky happened to roll right into the half way clean shart.

He quickly jumped up and out of the pile of steaming poo. "Eeeeeeeew!" He groaned, pinching his nose and jumping up and down. "Get this thing off of me!" He neared Po, hoping that his buddy would take it off of him. Po immediately reacted to this and ran behind LaLa, who jumped into Dipsy's arms. They all ran away from Tinky Winky. Po rode his red scooter and Dipsy pushed LaLa in the cart. As they got farther away from the stinky purple creature, they could hear in the distance a faint curse. "You bitches and bastards! I'm gonna shart in your coffee!" "Hey there, purty man." Said the same guy from Acme. "Aaugh!" Tinky screamed, running into the house and locking the doors. "Lemme in purty man." The man laughed. The three returned, only to beat the man to his pitiful death. "Open up you retard. And take a shower." Po said, holding his nose. "Nah, I'll just use the bunnies to wipe it off." Tinky said, going outside to grab a poor innocent bunny.

The bunny passed out and remained like that forever because he couldn't take the fumes and the toxicidity levels of the infamous Tinky Winky poo. Dipsy looked at the lifeless body in disgust. "I don't think he's gonna wake up, dude. You totally knocked him out," he said to Tinky Winky, who was now wiping his dirty feet on the floor. "NooNoo, go clean this up," commanded Tinky Winky. NooNoo shook his head and began to spin around speedily, about to activate the self-destruct button.

NooNoo blew up, but scattering no parts on the ground. "I guess it went to heaven..." Dipsy said, amazed, but shrugged it off. LaLa immediatly cleaned the floor, polished Tinky Winky's feet, and threw out the dead body. Po sat down for some lunch. "Phew, all that before lunch! Let's order pizza!" Po said. LaLa ran around, trying to keep the place neat. After all, that's why you see the house so clean when you watch Teletubbies on T.V. NooNoo is just a lazy mofo. (A/N: Motherfucker-Mofo.) "Lalalalaa!" Sang LaLa, going outside to play with her orange, big, plastic ball. Tinky Winky walked out, swinging his bright red purse on his arm. Po called Dominos. "Hello, this is Dominos, can I take your order?" Said a person on the other line. Po opened his mouth to same something, only to have the phone taken away by an yellow arm. "Hi, this is LaLa. Do you have any dominos?" LaLa asked. "This is Dominos..." The man on the other line said. "Oh! So you're a building made of dominos. I see." LaLa said. "Well, not really. This is a pizza parlour called Dominos." The voice on the other line said. "I meant the toy. The domino toy." LaLa said, getting pissed because the person was stupid. "Screw you." LaLa said, and hung up.

----------------------------------------

That's it for today. We got tired and distracted by Barbie Girl! Hahaha.

R&R, Whyte Lilac and hamtaro123312


	3. Hello parents! Goodbye now

Teletubbies: Gone Wild

Disclaimer: We don't own Teletubbies, amazingly. We get distracted alot.

R&R- Whyte Lilac and hamtaro123312

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Po gasped at the stupid Teletubbie, he called back and asked for a large mushroom pizza with some pepperoni. He hung up, and turned around. Tinky Winky walked in, swinging his bright red purse, filled to the brim with cash. _Where'd he get the money! _LaLa and Po thought. They soon forgot about it once Dipsy came back in, to store the stolen items away. (Teletubbie theme song plays) "Oh the pizza dude is here." Po said. Passing by Tinky, he took a fifty dollar bill, and opened the door. "LIKE DUDE! HERE'S YOUR PIZZA!" The Pizza woman said.

Po, annoyed at the woman's attitude, refused to tip her and dropped the money at her foot. "Dude, _you_ need to fuck off!" Then he took the pizza and slammed the door in her face.Turning back to his housemates, he cheerily asked, "Anybody want cheese pizza piled with four different toppings?" The others didn't bother listening to him, but rushed to the huge open box in his arms. LaLa helped herself to three slices while the others only had a piece each.

As Po munched on some pizza, his phone rang. Er, not his phone, his glowing stomach. "PO! PO! PO, HONEY!" Rang his stomach. "Oh shit..." Tinky groaned. "Hi Mom..." Po said, rubbing his temples. "Hello, everyone! I'm making sure all of you have enough to eat, especially my honey Po!" Po's Mom said.Po groaned and whined into the phone. "We're eating pizza right now, Mom! Of course we have enough to eat!" On the other end, they heard a loud concerned gasp. "Pizza!" she shrieked. "They're feeding my dear honey Po pizza! Oh my god! I'm rushing over there right now, sweet munchkins! Bo, go get the luggage and pack up the car!" Then they heard some muffled grumbling on the other end and a loud yelp when Po's mother pinched her husband's ear.

Tinky groaned. "Let's just lock Jo out..." He said. Everyone agreed. A loud car roar was heard outside. "Oh shit," Po said. "Lock the doors! Turn the air conditioner on higher! Lock the windows, draw the drapes!" LaLa panicked, and went to lock everything. Tinky went to the thermostat, and Dipsy drawed the drapes. A knock was heard at the door. "Po, honey! My lovely Po!" Someone screeched at the door. "FU--" Dipsy shouted, but was muffled by Po's hand. Everyone glared at him, but covered their own ears. "Ooh, Poooooooo!" they heard her singsong voice. "Open the door, darling!" The four Teletubbies scuttled across the room and hid in their secret basement under the rug. Meanwhile, outside, Jo was desperately trying to peek into the heavily draped windows. Bo groaned, shaking his head and dropped the luggage in his hands down. "I'm telling you...this isn't a good idea, Jo..." he tried to reason with her, but only got the finger.

Bo glared at Jo. "Son, open the door." Bo commanded. The Teletubbies were chilling in the basement---It was sort of like a hippie room, only more tech. "Aahh, how long has it been since we've been in this room?" Po asked. "Yesterday." Dipsy replied. Tinky grabbed a bag of chips, and some beer. "Booze! Yeah!" LaLa whispered, so Bo and Jo couldn't hear them. Dipsy added a pinch of crack to the beer. "Yum." Was all he could say before chugging down the whole can of beer. Tinky shifted in the overstuffed couch. Bangs could be heard upstairs. "Thank god we made the disaster protection zone comfy, eh?" Po laughed.Then they heard a loud howl upstairs and some footsteps. Everyone quiet down. Po looked horrified. "Shit!" he whispered harshly. "Fasten the locks before they find us and try to get in!" Tinky Winky made his way to the entrance of the secret basement and fastened all the locks quickly but quietly. Bo and Jo was already inside their home, but desperately searching for them all. "Yoo hooo! Po! Darling, come out come out wherever you are!" Jo cooed, looking under the sofa. Bo groaned yet again. "Why the hell would he be under the sofa, Jo?"

Little did they know, the distaster protection zone was hidden under the sofa, camoflauged as floor. "Everyone! Get the guns! We'll need to kill them, even though they did give Po birth!" Tinky said. Po agreed, and handed out with the WD-44's.They suddenly popped out from under Po's parents, armed with weapons while the couple stared at them. Po's mother clasped her hands together, exclaiming. "Oh, there you are, Po!" But before she could jump at him with a hug, he pointed the gun at her. "Stay away, Mom!" he warned, moving closer to her. Jo put her hands on her hips, annoyed at his attitude. "Alright, if you want to play it this way..." Then she pulled out a gun of her own and Bo did the same.

"Hah hah!" Po said, smacking the guns away. LaLa glanced at the abandoned guns, and saw they were plastic. "Mom, leave me alone. I need my space, and it's annoying me that you're still in my life. Good-bye." And with those last words, Po shot the gun...at his Dad. "Oops, wrong person. Bye, Mom! See you in hell!" Po said, pointing the gun at his Mom. He shot the gun, and his Mom fell to the ground. "What the fuck? Po didn't pull the trigger yet..." Tinky said, confused. "She must have died from shock. Oh well!" Dipsy said. LaLa gently put the gun on the ground, and rummaged through Jo's purse. She looked at the purse, and saw that it was a Prada purse. "Ooh. Prada purse." LaLa said. She took the purse. Tinky snatched it away and looked through it. An ID, a driver's license, and a wad of cash."Ew," LaLa said. "What are we gonna do with the bodies?" Po shrugged, pickpocketing his father's limp body that was laying on the ground. "I dunno. Throw em in the garbage?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Haha, we got bored after a bit. We both had to do laundry/hang clothes up. Hehehe, and hamtaro123312 had to go to open house for her little sister. Whyte Lilac had gotten smacked by her sister, so we decided to stop.

R&R, hamtaro123312 and Whyte Lilac


End file.
